I am not sure what part of the grieving process that I am currently in. It seems like lately it's almost like I forget every once in a while that my Dad passed away. It is the weirdest feeling that is so hard to explain. Something will happen or someone will say something in passing and the entire experience hits me all over again. A little voice sounds off in my head telling me "Oh yeah stupid... your dad died". The other night I could not close my eyes to fall asleep without picturing his lifeless body laying in his casket.
The only thing I can think of is that I am trying to push it so far back in my mind because it is just too painful to deal with. Last night I was with my friend Mandi and Love Can Build a Bridge came on the radio... she teared up and I didn't. She made the connection even before I did. Am I a horrible person? Is it wrong to repress something that you just cant handle?
I feel like I am letting him down more and more each day.
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