Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dragging My Feet

I have sat down to write a blog about our trip to Hot Springs at least a dozen times. Yet again today, I have failed. I just cant bring myself to release it. I cant find the courage to face it again. I can talk about it without a problem, but somehow when I start to write about it my heart fills my eyes with tears and I can barely see the screen.

It's almost like I have someone sitting on my shoulders most of the time. I feel heavy and my heart pounds every time I think about anything from that week. I am empty and completely lost. I have been running on auto pilot for some time now, but it is becoming extremely difficult to keep up the facade that I am not silently drowning. I really thought that with time this would get at least a little bit easier, not for me. My cup runnith over.

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